I have a friend, let’s call him dick, and dick’s problem (among many) is that he’s the most negative person I’ve ever met. I mean, it’s crazy it doesn’t matter what you say, dick will have a negative response or reply to any comment. I always noticed dicks negative aura; however it wasn’t until my girlfriend pointed it out one time that it really hit me – he’s got a negative comment for everything!
Let’s walk through a quick example. We’re sitting at a local sports bar, just outside Pittsburgh watching the Steelers game a couple of weeks ago, and he tells me of this cute girl whose said ‘hello’ to him. I quickly replied, “nice, you should go talk to her,” and the second, no lie a second, after I said this, I became bombed with negative responses of why he can’t go talk to this girl – I mean it was like I was in Lebanon. Everything from, “I’m a little drunk and probably couldn’t hold a normal conversation,” (which shouldn’t of been a problem, because he can’t ever hold conversation with girls – another story) to, “I’m not sure if I will be in Pittsburgh my whole life, so she might not want to leave her family.” I swear, I’m not lying here, even though it sounds preposterous. He made a marriage excuse within 15-seconds of making eye contact with this girl. How hard it is to see him like this, so negative, so unconfident and so nervous of everything in life. He never expects a good outcome for anything: from what a girl thinks of him to if there’s going to be parking downtown.
Expecting good outcomes is something that all confident, competitive people not only seek out; but also really believe with no doubt. Now, being one of these people who always believe everything will work out brings about my confident, competitive being. I have to have things work out, and I’m competitive enough that I’ll do everything to make sure it does, no matter what it takes. Everything from devoting an entire weekend to fixing my own sprinkler system (that I know what’s wrong with, not the guy whose going to charge me $300) to staying up all hours of the night fixing a minuet detail on a project for work that’s not due for two months!
Confident, competitive people do what it takes, they perform above their own ability because they truly believe they can do anything – they aren’t as good as they think they are, but they believe they’re better than you could ever imagine. It’s not an egocentric thing, they don’t believe the earth revolves around them, but they think they control how the world revolves.
People like myself will do what it takes, they’re who you want on your project team; now don’t worry they’re trying to be better than you, because it’s not really you they’re competing against – It’s themselves. For example, growing up I played baseball in Bountiful, Utah and I remember a game we played against our rivals, Viewmont. And in this particular game, we faced the best pitcher in the state, Jon Davis. This kid was good, I mean he could through the ball mid-90’s and he later went on to play pro-baseball. I was a sophomore playing varsity ball, so not only could he through hard, but he was about 4 years older than me. I’m not going to lie, I was a little intimidated, but I knew I could go 4-4 against him. There was no doubt in my mind. Long story short, we won the game, but I went 1-3, with a walk. I was excited for our team because we won; however, I couldn’t get over the fact I didn’t get on base two or the four times. This was the best pitcher in the state, it was my time to shine as a little sophomore, and I knew I was better than him. I let this burn in my mind, I let it sting, I let it hurt. Every day at practice I couldn’t wait until our next game against Viewmont, because I knew he would pitch. In my mind, I played out the scenario a million times, getting hit after hit against him. It wasn’t even an option that I wouldn’t go 4-4 against him next time.
A month and a half later, we played Viewmont again, this time on our home field. Everybody in my school was there; this was my time to shine. The night before I couldn’t sleep, I had no doubt in my mind I would go 4-4 against this kid. Now this isn’t a Disney movie and in the matter of time I’ll give you the shorter version – I went 2-4. I did better than my first time, but it still burned, hurt and stung. And we lost this game. But, the main point of this story was here was a kid, already to play pro baseball, there were pro-scouts at this game; he was 6’4’’, and myself, four years younger and 5’3” knew I was better than him. And believed it, more than anything, I had to go 4-4 against him; nothing short would be a success. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was stoked I went 2-4 against him, that’s batting .500, when the rest of my team only got 2 other hits, and one of my hits brought in our only run. Everybody was stoked for me, and I loved the attention, but it wasn’t enough.
Competitive, confident people need and expect good outcomes. They’re better than they think they are. Never believing anything less and never wanting anything less. They make it happen for themselves; sometimes by themselves, or sometimes with the help of others. But, they know how to succeed and they constantly challenge themselves: pushing limits, seeing what they’re made of. They accept the challenge because they want to know what they’re made of – they have to know, it’s what keeps them alive. It’s what keeps me alive.
